Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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