I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
