i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
how drunk are you?
Several
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize