Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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