it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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