Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
