Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
