I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
