I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
