i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
