I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
