I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize