He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
