You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he shaved USA in his pubs
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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