This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
