Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
