In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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