Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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