So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize