nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
