Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
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Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
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tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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