i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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