If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
