dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
