My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
