i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Im part way to drunk.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
