Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
