the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
