I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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