her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
