It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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