Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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