My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
