i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
