i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
