i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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