In the future we'll all be gay
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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