i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize