I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
