Got a toothbrush?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I touched a dick in church today
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
