i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
