She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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