what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize