what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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