If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish I only lived at night.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
