just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
