My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
can u get pink eye on your cock?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
