we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
