truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Panties = found
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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