lets start a swedish sibling band together
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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