Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
