last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
