let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
