come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
