So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
