You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
