there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
