He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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