I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
