When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
