i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
