I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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