the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
