belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
